Just the noise is my brain on paper.

I have been having a hard time sorting my thoughts and that is why I never blog. If you read this you know I hate just the small talk on a blog, haha it has to be something meaningful. I got a request by a friend that she wants me to keep writing. So I am going to try again!

It has been almost exactly 1 year ago that I was set to move to Connecticut to become a nanny for 1 year, if not longer. I moved to Connecticut the first of June and had a blast! I also hated it at the same time. I was in a very strange place in my life and making this decision was the only thing I felt comfortable doing with my life at that point. I had been through so much since my senior year of high school that I just needed a very big change in my life. I knew it was crazy but it would be the start of something wonderful and something that would change the rest of my life. Ever since this experience I have grown and learned to appreciate everyone around me. At the end of 5 months I was so physically exhausted from this experience that I decided I needed to return home. There has been many time I have regretted the decision to return. While I love school, I wish I would have stayed longer. since being home I have always thought twice before making a decision or backing out of something so quickly. Now that I am settled home, I know that this is the right place for me right at this moment in life.

I have been doing a LOT and a LOT more of thinking lately. I have been enjoying Hair School more than you can imagine. There are some days I never want to have a piece of itchy hair on me again! Then I get to meet some of the most wonderful people and then I get to call them my friends! I will be done just about the end of September... sad? I am very sad. I am one of those people that cannot handle change or losing people. I am learning to not be so emotional, my emotions have gotten me into some very big problems. So I am just trying to enjoy what I have left at Evans and take in every experience!

This still doesn't change that I have some very big decisions to make in the next 5 months. One thing I know for sure, is that I want to move out and experience living on my own. I do appreciate all the things my parents do but it is just time that I make that move. It is now more than ever though that I am filled with some big dreams. Since my time in school I have had my eyes opened to so much life! I love every second of my learning experience! It has made me realize some great things. I have always wondered why I haven't been close to getting married or have something that keeps me more grounded. With my prayers and dreams I have realized it is because I have many more things my big heart needs to do before settling down! When I say my wishes out loud they sound ridiculous... but they are truly things I want to experience. I will share a few.
*Speak French, Italian, and Spanish
*Work for Walt Disney World
*Live in New York as a "free" person
*Live in San Diego
*Become a nomad in Europe
*Serve a mission
*many, many, many more things
As many of you know I sometimes freak when I do not know or have a plan about what is next in life. For the first time in my life, I have a long list but no reason or know how of how to accomplish these things. I guess I have adopted a new way a life, and just letting things move naturally. I have decided that the closer school gets to ending I will slowly mark off some of these things. My Heavenly Father has helped my greatly in calming down and giving me to freedom to actually have my dreams and hopefully helping make them come true! All I know is that I want to make them happen and I will do it! All I know is that I cannot stop thinking about these things on a daily basis and it's starting to drive me crazy!

P.S. It has been a great mothers day and we had some good laughs as a family! I love them very much and they are wonderful people!