Your biggest challenge

Today was meh. I was bland and boring and I had a feeling of being worthless. Well because these days I am. I did wake up at a normal hour, and I sat around watching Grey's Anatomy. Its one of my comforting things I have in life. Oh yes, I did make a run down to the drug store with grandpa (this would be the highlight of my day.) I did get in a very good workout with Danielle though. It is something that I hate doing, but I know mmy fat does not go away on its own. So I try to make the habit and move on.

I apologize, I am a little numb today but felt that blogging is a good therapy tool that I enjoy. I am not sure if it is the sound of the keyboard or my new found love for writing? Either way I am here to share!

Todays thought is provoked by my boring life! If you bear with me I may bore you to death today. These days I have been a little on the dont give a living crap side. I have now officially not worked for about a month. Once you have had the joy of sleeping in everyday and not even having a worry about work, it is hard to get motivated to find a job. I also have many challenges that come along with my new life. I cannot for the life of me even imagine going back to an old boring job. In the last few weeks many thoughts have been running through my mind. Can I live without working? Does any one have a job for me in Italy? Can I just make up my own job and gather millions of dollars? I know... I am a dreamer. But, it is hard to sometimes face reality when you have reached the end of the rope. It is very hard on me mentally being 21 and still having no direction for life. I have done nothing to set myself up for future success. For me I do a lot more of beating myself up when I think about my past. No one wants to face reality, but I have been forced to face a harsh one right now.

I literally have sat up at night wondering what it is I could possibly go to school for. Is it a bad sign when you have had the last 6 years to think about it and still nothing sparks my interest? Well, so maybe school is not for me? But I swear I cannot take one more day of customer service! I would literally rather jump off a cliff over the grand canyon.

So what is my fix to all of this? I sit here... I spend my day counting calories and gearing up for my next workout. I spend my days looking through the t.v. beating my self up about my life. Do I complain a lot? yes! Well, maybe that is my problem. So for today that is what is my biggest challenge. I have a lot of life left to go ya know? Will I be faced with the same questions in another 6 years? Hopefully not. Until that point I will put faith in my Heavenly Father and just continue to be a little numb for now.

Stand a little taller