I have found that most everyone in their lives will change at some point or another. This is not a bad thing, but sometimes not a good one either. Some go up hill and some go down hill, some will change for better... or for worse. Along with change comes a new lifestyle that you live. Some make better dedications for a higher power, some fall away, friends are gained and lost, love comes and goes. The evolution of change is never ending and the motion of change is always being made.
When lives change and people move forward they must be able to look back and realize why certain changes are made. It will give us a brighter perspective and enable us to realize our full potential. Our purpose on earth is to become the best "US" we can be. In one of my favorite moves they have a scene that goes something like this. The character Iris is growing up, moving on and finally starting to realize how wonderful she actually is! She meets an older gentleman, a Hollywood movie writer. He tells her that in every movie there is a leading lady and a best friend. Arthur says, "Iris, in your own life you are acting like the best friend." She can finally see the light and recognizes, my heck! I am suppose to be the own leading lady of my life! I should not let other people write and lead the story for me! I love the movie the Holiday almost more than any other! It is filled with much insite and I have always felt this strange connection to it! No matter how much I change, I feel it always finds a new way to inspire or help direct me.
I have also come to realize that some people will not be in your lives forever. Sometime you are with people for a very long time, on the other hand only a short while. People come and go just like the sun and the moon. We as humans learn to cope with the loss of others. We must learn to savor the moment, because you never know how long you will have someone with you. This still ties into change because sometimes those people are still around. We must be humble enough to understand why those people came and left our lives. Why these people had to offer at that certain time. We must be humble enough to see why we have been granted time with them. And only through this "change" are we able to move forward in our movie and continue learning from our lessons and become the best you, that you can be.
Like most my other post it is time to think about your own life. Think about a time you went through a big life change or had to learn a tough lesson and had to choke on your words? I have a few incidents that come to mind and one in particular I will share with you tonight. In my recent years I have had to learn a tough lesson of forgiveness. Not only of myself but certain others. Other people that you thought would always be there but have somehow let you down. I can think of one time though a few years back when someone I really had not known that long had absolutley destroyed me. Things came out and went around and I ultimately had to make a decision. I had only been out of High School for a little while and had a hard time making such a big decision. I did decide to send a certain person packing, and to send them away from my life.
To this day about 2 years later... I am still very proud of my decision. Thought it has only been in a few recent months where I came to terms with myself and said, "No I am a much bigger person and I forgive them! And I have, I remember no more or care no more. But with this decision of forgiveness people around me wondered why I was not able to let them back into my life. I then was not able to answer. I thought maybe once you forgive you are suppose to allow people a fresh start and maybe "reedem themselves". Anyways a lot and a lot of thinking went into this new decision. This one even harder than letting this person go. I decided that it doesn't matter if you have forgiven and forgotten. I decided that I didn't care if it left people torn apart. Sometimes people will change so much that it is no longer worth a struggle. Just because you have forgiven someone does not mean that they get to start off with a clean slate. Who is to say that they have changed? Or that you have changed enough that maybe you would be able to stand up for yourself better this time?
Anyways, I have made a final decision that it is okay. I am now at 100% okay terms with the decisions I had to make for this certain situation. In others I have decided to forgive and give people a new clean slate. So maybe I haven't changed that much after all :) It is just a funny thing. I guess most people evaluate every decision differently and that is how it should be.
If I can shed some light thought. If you are going to make a change... and we should constantly be evolving. Make a step in the positive direction. Let go, forgive, make commitments, try something new! Make tomorrow a new day and take it one day at a time. For it is when we overwhelm ourselves that we let our leading ladies down! Now days I have something slightly resembling GUMPTION!
Stand a little taller
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
I'm back, obviously still as loud mouthed as ever.
I finally have come to realize that I use to blog. Who even knows what that means anymore. It's just me spouting on about random crap inside my mind. Blog is also a great form of really cheap therapy. Maybe I will write again, or this might just be a once in a two year opportunity.
Life update. I don't have a life. I moved to Idaho Falls July of 2013. My parents bought a salon and I moved to "help" them. Who knows if I am actually helping things, but that's what I say in my mind. Positive notes, I live with My Uncle Chris and Aunt Shelia or are you Sheila. haha this is how we will see if she reads this. I before E except after SH? we will never know. They have an adorable baby and I love living here. I also have found a fabulous friend up here who makes sure my life resembles some sort of normal social life. She makes my fat ass go to the gym or at least tries to encourage good things for me haha. I have dropped out of all sorts of extra life activites, that if I did participate in would make my life much more exciting.
As in true Hilary blog forum I will now preform my life thoughts and lessons on a completely random subject.
Nurse, Teacher, Tour Guide, Disney Employee, Writer, Surgeon, Camp Director, Psychiatrist. These are all things I think about becoming every day. Not a day goes by when I think of being all these things. I am truly at a spot in my life where I am 100% completely lost and 100% in a sticky situation. I will tell you one thing, I hate money. I hate everything about the fact that you have to have money to do anything in life. My thoughts are constantly turning towards it. I ponder in my mind every day about how I can go back to school and become something magnificent. Someone who I know I am and at my full potential to help people. That is all I have ever wanted to do was spread my laughter around to those who needed it. I also want to kick myself. Why have I left it to my almost 25 year old self to start from scratch, why the hell didn't you go to college at 18 years old. I could be finishing nursing school, or rotations at a psychiatrist office. I could have finished a lot of wonderful things. Instead I just sit here, and do nothing about it. Which brings me to my thought, do we ever truly move on? Does everyone else feel like a complete failure or am I just awful and hold on to things that people let go of? Why could I not have been blessed with a mind to drive myself to do anything? Instead I am halfway through my "prime" with almost nothing to show for anything. Why do we always put ourselves down and allow ourselves to be held back because of our fears? There has to be a moment when we find our strength and stand up for who we are, what we want, and what we believe in. Why do we carry around guilt for things we don't have to apologize for. Why do we carry around guilt for things we cannot change anymore? I believe some of us carry around a cloud our whole lives and never reach our full potential. So what's the difference with me, I don't know? I have no idea where I will go next, but I know I want to get there. I have to keep reminded myself to stop using this expression "I will be happy when" I thought I would be happy when I left my life and moved to New York. Was I, No? I was absolutely miserable. Learned a shit load about myself though. Figured out how bad my depression and anxiety could and would be. Thought I would be happy when I finished cosmetology school and worked at a salon. Was I? You guessed it, NO! So why do I always do that and think that something could make me happy? I am finally beginning to realize it is because we never truly let go and forgive ourselves. Tonight as I am writing this, I am convincing myself that life goes on. Who cares what I have and have not accomplished. I can't change it now. That's your own damn fault for being a lazy sack of crap. That's what you get for letting people take advantage of you and not having a backbone to do what you want. I need to forgive my last 7 years and move the heck on. I won't be happy when I become a Disney employee or a nurse. I will be happy when I can realize that you can make a difference every day, I can be happy when I make someone else laugh. I can be happy because I choose to be that way. I and we need to stop telling ourselves that life sucks so much. All you can do is your best, and move on every day. Mental baggage is the worst thing we can carry around. (although I wouldn't mind putting my fat on someone else) In the newer move 'About Time' he travels through time and can go back and re live every moment. In the end his dad tells him his secret is to live everyday and then re live it but when you go back to re live it, just laugh everything off and spend your time enjoying the little things around you. Realize that the things you thought were a problem were not after all.
Everyday is something that we have control over. We will not be happy when we reach certain goals. Instead it is our gift that we can be happy everyday while trying to reach our goals. We can making someone laugh and change the world every single day. When we truly let go of our ugly pasts and move forward is when we are truly happy. I learned a very great lesson once. Write a letter to each person that you feel has every done you wrong, or write a little to a certain life situation that you hated or that changed your life. Write a letter to Cancer, Alcohol, Best Friend, Parent, Sibling, Life, Drugs, YOURSELF! Write down all your issues and hatred towards these things. Then guess what?! Take it outside and burn it!!!!!!!!!!! Relieve yourself of all your hatred. Guess what, when your heart is light, is when you will be happy! I guarantee it. I am about 2 or 3 letters in to my own journey. I know this will help me a lot. Will I still struggle some days? Absolutely, I can guarantee it. But I beg of you to stop letting anger fill your heart and change how we treat people day to day. For it will change your outcome of life. A dark heart makes for a dark life, and that is now what we want. Forgive, forget and let go. That is my new mantra for life today, and hopefully from now on.
If that wasn't random enough wait until tomorrow. I don't write these for anyone, I just write to write. I enjoy it. If I can help even 1 person with my words, or even myself it is worth it. Smile and Laugh!
Hilary Fitts
Life update. I don't have a life. I moved to Idaho Falls July of 2013. My parents bought a salon and I moved to "help" them. Who knows if I am actually helping things, but that's what I say in my mind. Positive notes, I live with My Uncle Chris and Aunt Shelia or are you Sheila. haha this is how we will see if she reads this. I before E except after SH? we will never know. They have an adorable baby and I love living here. I also have found a fabulous friend up here who makes sure my life resembles some sort of normal social life. She makes my fat ass go to the gym or at least tries to encourage good things for me haha. I have dropped out of all sorts of extra life activites, that if I did participate in would make my life much more exciting.
As in true Hilary blog forum I will now preform my life thoughts and lessons on a completely random subject.
Nurse, Teacher, Tour Guide, Disney Employee, Writer, Surgeon, Camp Director, Psychiatrist. These are all things I think about becoming every day. Not a day goes by when I think of being all these things. I am truly at a spot in my life where I am 100% completely lost and 100% in a sticky situation. I will tell you one thing, I hate money. I hate everything about the fact that you have to have money to do anything in life. My thoughts are constantly turning towards it. I ponder in my mind every day about how I can go back to school and become something magnificent. Someone who I know I am and at my full potential to help people. That is all I have ever wanted to do was spread my laughter around to those who needed it. I also want to kick myself. Why have I left it to my almost 25 year old self to start from scratch, why the hell didn't you go to college at 18 years old. I could be finishing nursing school, or rotations at a psychiatrist office. I could have finished a lot of wonderful things. Instead I just sit here, and do nothing about it. Which brings me to my thought, do we ever truly move on? Does everyone else feel like a complete failure or am I just awful and hold on to things that people let go of? Why could I not have been blessed with a mind to drive myself to do anything? Instead I am halfway through my "prime" with almost nothing to show for anything. Why do we always put ourselves down and allow ourselves to be held back because of our fears? There has to be a moment when we find our strength and stand up for who we are, what we want, and what we believe in. Why do we carry around guilt for things we don't have to apologize for. Why do we carry around guilt for things we cannot change anymore? I believe some of us carry around a cloud our whole lives and never reach our full potential. So what's the difference with me, I don't know? I have no idea where I will go next, but I know I want to get there. I have to keep reminded myself to stop using this expression "I will be happy when" I thought I would be happy when I left my life and moved to New York. Was I, No? I was absolutely miserable. Learned a shit load about myself though. Figured out how bad my depression and anxiety could and would be. Thought I would be happy when I finished cosmetology school and worked at a salon. Was I? You guessed it, NO! So why do I always do that and think that something could make me happy? I am finally beginning to realize it is because we never truly let go and forgive ourselves. Tonight as I am writing this, I am convincing myself that life goes on. Who cares what I have and have not accomplished. I can't change it now. That's your own damn fault for being a lazy sack of crap. That's what you get for letting people take advantage of you and not having a backbone to do what you want. I need to forgive my last 7 years and move the heck on. I won't be happy when I become a Disney employee or a nurse. I will be happy when I can realize that you can make a difference every day, I can be happy when I make someone else laugh. I can be happy because I choose to be that way. I and we need to stop telling ourselves that life sucks so much. All you can do is your best, and move on every day. Mental baggage is the worst thing we can carry around. (although I wouldn't mind putting my fat on someone else) In the newer move 'About Time' he travels through time and can go back and re live every moment. In the end his dad tells him his secret is to live everyday and then re live it but when you go back to re live it, just laugh everything off and spend your time enjoying the little things around you. Realize that the things you thought were a problem were not after all.
Everyday is something that we have control over. We will not be happy when we reach certain goals. Instead it is our gift that we can be happy everyday while trying to reach our goals. We can making someone laugh and change the world every single day. When we truly let go of our ugly pasts and move forward is when we are truly happy. I learned a very great lesson once. Write a letter to each person that you feel has every done you wrong, or write a little to a certain life situation that you hated or that changed your life. Write a letter to Cancer, Alcohol, Best Friend, Parent, Sibling, Life, Drugs, YOURSELF! Write down all your issues and hatred towards these things. Then guess what?! Take it outside and burn it!!!!!!!!!!! Relieve yourself of all your hatred. Guess what, when your heart is light, is when you will be happy! I guarantee it. I am about 2 or 3 letters in to my own journey. I know this will help me a lot. Will I still struggle some days? Absolutely, I can guarantee it. But I beg of you to stop letting anger fill your heart and change how we treat people day to day. For it will change your outcome of life. A dark heart makes for a dark life, and that is now what we want. Forgive, forget and let go. That is my new mantra for life today, and hopefully from now on.
If that wasn't random enough wait until tomorrow. I don't write these for anyone, I just write to write. I enjoy it. If I can help even 1 person with my words, or even myself it is worth it. Smile and Laugh!
Hilary Fitts
Thursday, September 27, 2012
One little short and crazy year!
I believe that I have about 3 weeks left of cosmetology school. I do not want to leave ever! It has become my safe haven and I love just about every second of it. I cannot believe how quickly it went and how much has happened in one short year. Once I moved back to Utah in early September 2011, I had about 3 days of rest and immediately started at Evan's. Honestly I didn't even know if I wanted to cut hair or would like it? It ends up that I absolutely love it! I love my customers, because they have become my friends and I can't wait to see them each week and make them more beautiful! I cannot wait to be done so that I can start my actual working period of cosmetology and start making money. It will feel so nice to be a graduate of college and have an actual career. I am damn proud of myself for this!
It has been a very crazy summer, yet also very relaxing. I don't think I had the mental capacity to have a very stimulating summer. I took my cute little sisters to the lake a lot, and burned a lot! Saw the state fair and all of its white trash glory. Rediscovered my love for the movies and reading. Saw more outdoor movies than is possible. As always a bunch of random activities that made it very fun! Also one of my hardest summers, besides the summer of '09 and last summer! Haha oddly specific? yes... I have my reasons so do not mock!
I forget that I have my blog and that it is my venting system! I do only write this blog for myself and for the few who actually like to read it. So I may share random things, and sometimes I am not my upbeat self in them! That to me is why I like to blog, to shed some light on the crazy things in life!
This fall marks 6 years now that I have battled with depressions and anxiety problems. I do know why I have them but I do not know why they continue to haunt me. That is why this last year has become so very important to these issues and my growing process. You see I have this problem where I constantly worry and about things that are in the past that I can no longer change or deal with. This entire summer I had so very much fun being very free and happy. Every time I did something though, I was reminded of last summer and all the fun things I did. I worried about how I could have done things better, or that I could have stayed longer, that I could still be in New York, that I didn't see enough or go enough places! Everything I did this year reminded me or made me remember what I was doing exactly a year ago. I don't think I can explain to you how much last summer meant to me or me growing and changing as a person. There is not a day that goes by that I wishes I could go back and visit what I called home for such a short time! I just had a very hard time being able to say "Hilary, you had a great time, you have moved forward with life. You are in another amazing chapter and stop dwelling on bad things" Well duh, that is what I am a damn dweller!
If it were not for my personal growth and help at Evan's I would have not made it through this last year. I have become friends with people I never thought I could. I have become a much more forward and outspoken person. I do not let people walk all over me. I know now how to say no and still maintain my "hillaryness". I have participated and learned about more service projects than I ever though imaginable. I was able to forgive grudges of the past few years, as I wrote letters and burned them. I then watched them blow away as little ashes! That was the greatest feeling of all. Most of all I have become more open to the world and seeing how the rest of the world lives. I would say I am a 100% different person than one year ago. I absolutely love myself now and what I am doing with my life! I am actually living for myself and not to please others! That is the greatest satisfaction of all! Finally to realize what you want out of life and have some of your dreams back. Through exercise and regaining my smile I have been able to push my anxiety and depression away as I always do! That is just the type of person I am! We move forward, constantly looking for something else great in life.
I am so excited for these next few months and I look forward to the opportunities that will come in them! Also my Best Friend Tia passed her test and I am so darn proud of her!!!
It has been a very crazy summer, yet also very relaxing. I don't think I had the mental capacity to have a very stimulating summer. I took my cute little sisters to the lake a lot, and burned a lot! Saw the state fair and all of its white trash glory. Rediscovered my love for the movies and reading. Saw more outdoor movies than is possible. As always a bunch of random activities that made it very fun! Also one of my hardest summers, besides the summer of '09 and last summer! Haha oddly specific? yes... I have my reasons so do not mock!
I forget that I have my blog and that it is my venting system! I do only write this blog for myself and for the few who actually like to read it. So I may share random things, and sometimes I am not my upbeat self in them! That to me is why I like to blog, to shed some light on the crazy things in life!
This fall marks 6 years now that I have battled with depressions and anxiety problems. I do know why I have them but I do not know why they continue to haunt me. That is why this last year has become so very important to these issues and my growing process. You see I have this problem where I constantly worry and about things that are in the past that I can no longer change or deal with. This entire summer I had so very much fun being very free and happy. Every time I did something though, I was reminded of last summer and all the fun things I did. I worried about how I could have done things better, or that I could have stayed longer, that I could still be in New York, that I didn't see enough or go enough places! Everything I did this year reminded me or made me remember what I was doing exactly a year ago. I don't think I can explain to you how much last summer meant to me or me growing and changing as a person. There is not a day that goes by that I wishes I could go back and visit what I called home for such a short time! I just had a very hard time being able to say "Hilary, you had a great time, you have moved forward with life. You are in another amazing chapter and stop dwelling on bad things" Well duh, that is what I am a damn dweller!
If it were not for my personal growth and help at Evan's I would have not made it through this last year. I have become friends with people I never thought I could. I have become a much more forward and outspoken person. I do not let people walk all over me. I know now how to say no and still maintain my "hillaryness". I have participated and learned about more service projects than I ever though imaginable. I was able to forgive grudges of the past few years, as I wrote letters and burned them. I then watched them blow away as little ashes! That was the greatest feeling of all. Most of all I have become more open to the world and seeing how the rest of the world lives. I would say I am a 100% different person than one year ago. I absolutely love myself now and what I am doing with my life! I am actually living for myself and not to please others! That is the greatest satisfaction of all! Finally to realize what you want out of life and have some of your dreams back. Through exercise and regaining my smile I have been able to push my anxiety and depression away as I always do! That is just the type of person I am! We move forward, constantly looking for something else great in life.
I am so excited for these next few months and I look forward to the opportunities that will come in them! Also my Best Friend Tia passed her test and I am so darn proud of her!!!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Just the noise is my brain on paper.
I have been having a hard time sorting my thoughts and that is why I never blog. If you read this you know I hate just the small talk on a blog, haha it has to be something meaningful. I got a request by a friend that she wants me to keep writing. So I am going to try again!
It has been almost exactly 1 year ago that I was set to move to Connecticut to become a nanny for 1 year, if not longer. I moved to Connecticut the first of June and had a blast! I also hated it at the same time. I was in a very strange place in my life and making this decision was the only thing I felt comfortable doing with my life at that point. I had been through so much since my senior year of high school that I just needed a very big change in my life. I knew it was crazy but it would be the start of something wonderful and something that would change the rest of my life. Ever since this experience I have grown and learned to appreciate everyone around me. At the end of 5 months I was so physically exhausted from this experience that I decided I needed to return home. There has been many time I have regretted the decision to return. While I love school, I wish I would have stayed longer. since being home I have always thought twice before making a decision or backing out of something so quickly. Now that I am settled home, I know that this is the right place for me right at this moment in life.
I have been doing a LOT and a LOT more of thinking lately. I have been enjoying Hair School more than you can imagine. There are some days I never want to have a piece of itchy hair on me again! Then I get to meet some of the most wonderful people and then I get to call them my friends! I will be done just about the end of September... sad? I am very sad. I am one of those people that cannot handle change or losing people. I am learning to not be so emotional, my emotions have gotten me into some very big problems. So I am just trying to enjoy what I have left at Evans and take in every experience!
This still doesn't change that I have some very big decisions to make in the next 5 months. One thing I know for sure, is that I want to move out and experience living on my own. I do appreciate all the things my parents do but it is just time that I make that move. It is now more than ever though that I am filled with some big dreams. Since my time in school I have had my eyes opened to so much life! I love every second of my learning experience! It has made me realize some great things. I have always wondered why I haven't been close to getting married or have something that keeps me more grounded. With my prayers and dreams I have realized it is because I have many more things my big heart needs to do before settling down! When I say my wishes out loud they sound ridiculous... but they are truly things I want to experience. I will share a few.
*Speak French, Italian, and Spanish
*Work for Walt Disney World
*Live in New York as a "free" person
*Live in San Diego
*Become a nomad in Europe
*Serve a mission
*many, many, many more things
As many of you know I sometimes freak when I do not know or have a plan about what is next in life. For the first time in my life, I have a long list but no reason or know how of how to accomplish these things. I guess I have adopted a new way a life, and just letting things move naturally. I have decided that the closer school gets to ending I will slowly mark off some of these things. My Heavenly Father has helped my greatly in calming down and giving me to freedom to actually have my dreams and hopefully helping make them come true! All I know is that I want to make them happen and I will do it! All I know is that I cannot stop thinking about these things on a daily basis and it's starting to drive me crazy!
P.S. It has been a great mothers day and we had some good laughs as a family! I love them very much and they are wonderful people!
It has been almost exactly 1 year ago that I was set to move to Connecticut to become a nanny for 1 year, if not longer. I moved to Connecticut the first of June and had a blast! I also hated it at the same time. I was in a very strange place in my life and making this decision was the only thing I felt comfortable doing with my life at that point. I had been through so much since my senior year of high school that I just needed a very big change in my life. I knew it was crazy but it would be the start of something wonderful and something that would change the rest of my life. Ever since this experience I have grown and learned to appreciate everyone around me. At the end of 5 months I was so physically exhausted from this experience that I decided I needed to return home. There has been many time I have regretted the decision to return. While I love school, I wish I would have stayed longer. since being home I have always thought twice before making a decision or backing out of something so quickly. Now that I am settled home, I know that this is the right place for me right at this moment in life.
I have been doing a LOT and a LOT more of thinking lately. I have been enjoying Hair School more than you can imagine. There are some days I never want to have a piece of itchy hair on me again! Then I get to meet some of the most wonderful people and then I get to call them my friends! I will be done just about the end of September... sad? I am very sad. I am one of those people that cannot handle change or losing people. I am learning to not be so emotional, my emotions have gotten me into some very big problems. So I am just trying to enjoy what I have left at Evans and take in every experience!
This still doesn't change that I have some very big decisions to make in the next 5 months. One thing I know for sure, is that I want to move out and experience living on my own. I do appreciate all the things my parents do but it is just time that I make that move. It is now more than ever though that I am filled with some big dreams. Since my time in school I have had my eyes opened to so much life! I love every second of my learning experience! It has made me realize some great things. I have always wondered why I haven't been close to getting married or have something that keeps me more grounded. With my prayers and dreams I have realized it is because I have many more things my big heart needs to do before settling down! When I say my wishes out loud they sound ridiculous... but they are truly things I want to experience. I will share a few.
*Speak French, Italian, and Spanish
*Work for Walt Disney World
*Live in New York as a "free" person
*Live in San Diego
*Become a nomad in Europe
*Serve a mission
*many, many, many more things
As many of you know I sometimes freak when I do not know or have a plan about what is next in life. For the first time in my life, I have a long list but no reason or know how of how to accomplish these things. I guess I have adopted a new way a life, and just letting things move naturally. I have decided that the closer school gets to ending I will slowly mark off some of these things. My Heavenly Father has helped my greatly in calming down and giving me to freedom to actually have my dreams and hopefully helping make them come true! All I know is that I want to make them happen and I will do it! All I know is that I cannot stop thinking about these things on a daily basis and it's starting to drive me crazy!
P.S. It has been a great mothers day and we had some good laughs as a family! I love them very much and they are wonderful people!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Another day of birth come and gone!
Today is the birth of my very best friend. I have known her since I was seven and decided to make her all mine when I was 14! Haha. She is always very excited about her birthday as long as I can remember. Until this year... I am sure she was excited but didn't want to make it a five day extravaganza. A few days ago she asked me to just plan something small with our closest friends. We decided to do a Just Dance night and just food with some laughs.
This year she turned 26 and I am just not sure how she felt about it. It reminds me of my birthdays that I always hate the approach of every year. For some reason I have always new years resolutions. So I make birthday resolutions. Since about the age of 16 they have always been about the same... literally the same. Get kissed, lose weight, go on a date, do something meaningful with my life etc. Then every year my brithday comes and I realize I have the same goals... they are just a bad reminder of where I am not at every year.
This birthday was probably the first I decided not to make such a list. I have already crossed off two items, luckily they are, go on a real date, and do something meaningful with my life. Sadly one more years goes by without a kiss. I am literally convinced I may be dead before that happens. I guess I have just come to terms... If I did not meet a one Jill Sinnott, I would not be where I am today. She is one of the greatest people I have come to know. She gave me courage to finally stand up for myself and change my outcome in life.
So this year I decided, who cares about age? Who cares what you are and are not accomplishing. Do we not already try our best every day? Why are we so hard on ourselves?
I hope this year if I can convince my best friend of a few things. No matter how old you get, you are the best person I have ever met! You have the greatest laugh, probably the greatest sense of humor. You are the only person where we can just sit there after something big has happened and nothing has to be said. I love that you don't have to know all the details. You can move on from things and not even blink. You are the most honest person I have met. We still act like 16 year old girls when we find our "boyfriends" of the day. Jimmer and Jackson! We literally have fun in everything we do. Our friendship has stood the test of times. Even as we get older we still find a way to make everything work! Some friendships fade after time, and I hope ours continues to be the way it is today. Without you I would not be the person I am today. You give me a different perspective on life and keep me grounded. Sometimes I go crazy and you keep me level headed.
I hope that as this new year comes around and year enter your 26th year. Remember you are still young and have time to accomplish all your dreams. Do not be so hard on yourself and forgive your mistakes. Only assume you deserve the best.. Because you do, and do not settle for any less! I love you more than you could every imagine and I know we will have another fantastic year. Until the next burday. Love you, Donda!
Hilary Fitts
This year she turned 26 and I am just not sure how she felt about it. It reminds me of my birthdays that I always hate the approach of every year. For some reason I have always new years resolutions. So I make birthday resolutions. Since about the age of 16 they have always been about the same... literally the same. Get kissed, lose weight, go on a date, do something meaningful with my life etc. Then every year my brithday comes and I realize I have the same goals... they are just a bad reminder of where I am not at every year.
This birthday was probably the first I decided not to make such a list. I have already crossed off two items, luckily they are, go on a real date, and do something meaningful with my life. Sadly one more years goes by without a kiss. I am literally convinced I may be dead before that happens. I guess I have just come to terms... If I did not meet a one Jill Sinnott, I would not be where I am today. She is one of the greatest people I have come to know. She gave me courage to finally stand up for myself and change my outcome in life.
So this year I decided, who cares about age? Who cares what you are and are not accomplishing. Do we not already try our best every day? Why are we so hard on ourselves?
I hope this year if I can convince my best friend of a few things. No matter how old you get, you are the best person I have ever met! You have the greatest laugh, probably the greatest sense of humor. You are the only person where we can just sit there after something big has happened and nothing has to be said. I love that you don't have to know all the details. You can move on from things and not even blink. You are the most honest person I have met. We still act like 16 year old girls when we find our "boyfriends" of the day. Jimmer and Jackson! We literally have fun in everything we do. Our friendship has stood the test of times. Even as we get older we still find a way to make everything work! Some friendships fade after time, and I hope ours continues to be the way it is today. Without you I would not be the person I am today. You give me a different perspective on life and keep me grounded. Sometimes I go crazy and you keep me level headed.
I hope that as this new year comes around and year enter your 26th year. Remember you are still young and have time to accomplish all your dreams. Do not be so hard on yourself and forgive your mistakes. Only assume you deserve the best.. Because you do, and do not settle for any less! I love you more than you could every imagine and I know we will have another fantastic year. Until the next burday. Love you, Donda!
Hilary Fitts
Monday, December 26, 2011
Here today... gone tomorrow
Dear Readers, I have been on a mental vacation since I last posted in May. You would like to hear stories you say? Well, those will come later. It is a combonation of thoughts that have prompted me to post today. I have simply forgotten that I love the written word and more or less forgotten how much I love to write. While I may have a few followers... I simply do this for myself. It is cheap therapy while doing something I love!
It was Christmas Eve morning, just this past Saturday. I was out of school since Friday but my dear little Maxine was waiting for her Saturday shampoo set. I am a sucker for the old people and knew I had to go whether we were in school or not. Maxine a dear little 90 year old lady had been given to me by my insturctor in late September. I was to go to her house every Saturday morning at 10 and do her hair (it had to look good for church)
I went every Saturday and heard stories from her wonderful life! She had an amazing collection of dolls, a cute little dog named Blossom, and said warsh for wash. I enjoyed her company and always looked forward to going. We became wonderful friends and she would always share treats that she bought at "the costco" with her son the day before. Blossom would sit on her lap as Maxine would talk and talk.
As I pulled into the driveway on Saturday I notices her walker and wheelchair leaned up against the side of the building. I had 3 thoughts, either her children forgot to pack them in a car to go with her, they had gone to the hospital in a hurry, or Maxine had passed away. As I approached the door, Blossom was not barking as usual and that is when I noticed a note taped to the door. "Hair dresser, sorry we have to cancel for today. Please call me. I called Michele... She had told me that Maxine had passed away the night before. She went on to tell me that she fell ill last Saturday after I left... she went to lunch, a movie, and then to her family Christmas party. That night she called her son and said her oxygen wasn't working. When her son arrived he found the oxygen to be working but Maxine's lungs to be failing. Maxine held on for just about another week and passed away Friday night surrounded by her family.
As I bawled listening to this story, I was happy for Maxine. For she was in a place where she no longer missed her husband and other son. She was out of pain, and could breathe and walk normally. Another part of me was sad they didn't call for me to come say goodbye. Who knows though... I may not have made it though the experience.
As many of you know, for a living I take care of my sweet dear invalid Grandma Frankie. She fell in February and broke her arm. Ever since then her health has been on a roller coaster ride!
I think back to some of my very first memories. One of them is sitting on my grandfathers lap every morning and watching Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street. We then would eat Ramen Noodles. After school I would help him in the garden and do such activites. With my Grandma I would play flinch, the piano or she would teach me counting or reading. For as long as I can remember my grandparents have always been a major part of my life. For more than 15 out of my 22 years I have lived with my grandparents... or they have lived with us. I am sure more than half of my memories contain something we have done with them.
Since her accident in May my entire family especially my Dad has made great sacrifices to make sure someone is always with her. Since my return home in September I started 2 weekly "shifts" with my Grandma. Knowing that they are respectively 87 and 89 years old... I take advantage of almost all our moments together. I will ask my grandpa and grandma to tell stories or even sing things I have heard a thousand times before!
In the last few weeks I have noticed a change in their health. I would like to think this is just my ignorance but I know it is not. I know that everyday living is very hard for them. My Grandpa doesn't sleep for more than a few hours a day, he lost his sight completely in one eye. (The day he got this news was the first time I had ever seen my Grandpa almost cry) It broke my little heart to watch him come to the realization of how old he is actually getting. My Grandma suffers with every kind of pain you can ever imagine. As the days go by these symptoms just progress. When I heard of Maxine's passing, and know putting my Grandma in bed tonight... after watching how much pain she was in just walking to the bathroom. I wonder how many more days, months or hopefully year(s) I will be given with them. While I am sure they are ready to go, I can't stop thinking how weird life will be without them. I am spoiled because I still have my grandparents at 90 years old and can share every memory with them. How many people can say that? I hate to see how fragile life actually is. How weird is it that one day someone is here and the next day they are not? It is magical to think how much a persons life can impact your own... While I will continue to make the most of our time together, it breaks my little heart to see them when they are in pain. But for now, I will continue to watch Finding Nemo, listen to my Grandma sing Gene Autry, and share endless laughter with them. Maxine, thank you for the time we shared together, thank you for your friendship and most of all thank you giving me this eye opening experience.
Hilary Fitts
It was Christmas Eve morning, just this past Saturday. I was out of school since Friday but my dear little Maxine was waiting for her Saturday shampoo set. I am a sucker for the old people and knew I had to go whether we were in school or not. Maxine a dear little 90 year old lady had been given to me by my insturctor in late September. I was to go to her house every Saturday morning at 10 and do her hair (it had to look good for church)
I went every Saturday and heard stories from her wonderful life! She had an amazing collection of dolls, a cute little dog named Blossom, and said warsh for wash. I enjoyed her company and always looked forward to going. We became wonderful friends and she would always share treats that she bought at "the costco" with her son the day before. Blossom would sit on her lap as Maxine would talk and talk.
As I pulled into the driveway on Saturday I notices her walker and wheelchair leaned up against the side of the building. I had 3 thoughts, either her children forgot to pack them in a car to go with her, they had gone to the hospital in a hurry, or Maxine had passed away. As I approached the door, Blossom was not barking as usual and that is when I noticed a note taped to the door. "Hair dresser, sorry we have to cancel for today. Please call me. I called Michele... She had told me that Maxine had passed away the night before. She went on to tell me that she fell ill last Saturday after I left... she went to lunch, a movie, and then to her family Christmas party. That night she called her son and said her oxygen wasn't working. When her son arrived he found the oxygen to be working but Maxine's lungs to be failing. Maxine held on for just about another week and passed away Friday night surrounded by her family.
As I bawled listening to this story, I was happy for Maxine. For she was in a place where she no longer missed her husband and other son. She was out of pain, and could breathe and walk normally. Another part of me was sad they didn't call for me to come say goodbye. Who knows though... I may not have made it though the experience.
As many of you know, for a living I take care of my sweet dear invalid Grandma Frankie. She fell in February and broke her arm. Ever since then her health has been on a roller coaster ride!
I think back to some of my very first memories. One of them is sitting on my grandfathers lap every morning and watching Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street. We then would eat Ramen Noodles. After school I would help him in the garden and do such activites. With my Grandma I would play flinch, the piano or she would teach me counting or reading. For as long as I can remember my grandparents have always been a major part of my life. For more than 15 out of my 22 years I have lived with my grandparents... or they have lived with us. I am sure more than half of my memories contain something we have done with them.
Since her accident in May my entire family especially my Dad has made great sacrifices to make sure someone is always with her. Since my return home in September I started 2 weekly "shifts" with my Grandma. Knowing that they are respectively 87 and 89 years old... I take advantage of almost all our moments together. I will ask my grandpa and grandma to tell stories or even sing things I have heard a thousand times before!
In the last few weeks I have noticed a change in their health. I would like to think this is just my ignorance but I know it is not. I know that everyday living is very hard for them. My Grandpa doesn't sleep for more than a few hours a day, he lost his sight completely in one eye. (The day he got this news was the first time I had ever seen my Grandpa almost cry) It broke my little heart to watch him come to the realization of how old he is actually getting. My Grandma suffers with every kind of pain you can ever imagine. As the days go by these symptoms just progress. When I heard of Maxine's passing, and know putting my Grandma in bed tonight... after watching how much pain she was in just walking to the bathroom. I wonder how many more days, months or hopefully year(s) I will be given with them. While I am sure they are ready to go, I can't stop thinking how weird life will be without them. I am spoiled because I still have my grandparents at 90 years old and can share every memory with them. How many people can say that? I hate to see how fragile life actually is. How weird is it that one day someone is here and the next day they are not? It is magical to think how much a persons life can impact your own... While I will continue to make the most of our time together, it breaks my little heart to see them when they are in pain. But for now, I will continue to watch Finding Nemo, listen to my Grandma sing Gene Autry, and share endless laughter with them. Maxine, thank you for the time we shared together, thank you for your friendship and most of all thank you giving me this eye opening experience.
Hilary Fitts
Sunday, May 22, 2011
With a heavy heart, some anxiety, and much excitement!
I have promised that from this day forward I would keep my blog updated as close to every day as possible. I would imagine the ones to follow.... Danielle, Robyn, Max and Elle. If I am only writing for four, they would be the ones I want to read about my exciting new adventures! I may bore you with my really long story but I need to get things out and write for closure and bring a clean slate forward. Hopefully you will all enjoy!
In December the company I was working for announced that they would be closing down. While this job provided a grand income... I was relieved. I had some of the best times there, and for each good moment it was multiplied by 4 bad moments. So when the announcement came forward, I breathed a sigh of relief. Of relief that I could finally sleep and that the fates of 276 families would no longer be in my hands.
On the day of our release from work, I came home with two black garbage back full of junk from my "cube." I just sat. I stared at my bedroom wall for hours. Hours that I could say were filled with mostly tears. Tears of gratitude, hate, happiness, and sorrow. I had no thought really, a wall had just come tumbling down.
The next I decided I would wipe my life clean and so I painted. I went to the paint store and gathered primer and grey paint. In all it would take me three days. I called my best friend Danielle and told her to bring her Christmas spirit and come paint. I can remember now listening to Mark Masri, and Josh Groban Christmas music. We had a lot of laughs and I was glad to have my friend near at that moment. Little did I know I would never be so glad to have her in my life in the coming months.
So now I have a grey room with some cute throw pillow that I had made. It made me feel very happy. I felt clean and it gave me a sense of relief. It made it feel as if it were a new fresh start. As I was moving my room back to its normal state a paper fell out of my drawer. It was an old schedule from work at Lane Bryant. In which it said I worked Tuesday with Beth. Ahh Beth, she was a great friend whom I was very saddened to see move to New York to become a Nanny. A few days went by and I was bored as a door nail. I always thought while working that it would be great to have no job and do what you wanted. Ha, joke is on me. It is absolutely boring! So I thought, and thought some more. What could I do to earn an income. Why are you 21 years old and have no schooling? Well duh, go to school! I decided I should follow in my mothers path and become a hair stylist. I applied at a school and had my whole next year planned out. I had never been so excited about school before. I would be at a great school and right down the street from Danielle's work! It would be like High School, we could eat lunch again every day together! As I was making final touches I learned that funding for school would be nearly impossible for me. I looked at all the options and they easily were all flushed down the toilet!
So I prayed. I prayed for a good 30 minutes. I had never cried so hard in my entire life! I made a plea to my Heavenly Father to show me the way or to give me a sign. That night I decided I would give my friend Beth a call. No not decided, I was prompted to give Bethy Beth a call. As I called I was impressed to ask her how to go about being a nanny. I got a web site from her and she gave me great information. It was not but 10 minutes later I was online making a profile to solicit myself to be a nanny. Had I ever wanted to be a nanny? NO! Had I felt right about going to do it? NO WAY! The concept was so foreign and scary to me. But, I proceeded anyways. Within a few days I received a message from a family in Connecticut. They had an 11 year old boy, wanted a "friend"/ nanny for him. They had quite the set up and seemed picture perfect. I answered back to them and set up a time for some phone calls. I spoke to them and felt the impression that they were great. Bad news is they did not need a nanny until June! How could I possibly be around for 6 months waiting to leave? So I spoke to other families and followed the same process. As the days passed I came to love the idea of being a nanny more and more.
As the process of prayer became a more pattern activity in my life I began to feel things becoming clear to me. On one of the days in February I decided I could not take one more day of being fat! I have always been fat and thought I always would be. It was something that had come to be part of my personality, and I was okay with being the "fat funny" girl. Until one day I was overwhelmed with the power to finally lose weight. The best I can explain it to someone is like an addiction. Some obese is someone that is addicted to food. If I could be so bold I would compare it to a cigarette addiction. I had always had good intentions to lost weight but this time I had no intentions. I was going to solely dedicate my life to having a whole mind and finding peace with my body.
At this point I had purchased a few books. Miracle of Forgiveness, Biggest Loser 6 weeks to a healthier you and Eat, Pray, Love. I knew I needed to make peace with my Heavenly Father, I needed to lose weight, and I needed to learn how to find new meaning to life and let go. During this time I decided I did not fit with any other families. All my thoughts went back to this first family in Connecticut. At this point I was okay with waiting until June. I had a lot of personal things to work out to be in the right mind set to leave. It just so happens that June ended up falling in a perfect time frame. So I told them I would love to join their family and they gave an invitation! I was so excited. You did not have to twist my arm for this job! It is a perfect set up with everything you could and would ever need.
I finally felt at peace with my decision. I was learning how to abandon my addictions, clear my mind and draw nearer to my faith! But I have taken these last 6 months off for granted! I have had time to spend with my dear grandparents. Even thought it is watching my crazy grandpa go down every aisle at the grocery because he can't remember what they need. The time with my grandmother has been very rough. I came home one day after dropping my parents off at the airport and find my grandma screaming for help. She had fallen down and broken her arm in 3 different places. She has been through too much to have kept her patience in the last 4 months. Hell I don't blame her. They are people that are so firm in the gospel you can't help but have the most respect and love for them.
While I have not wanted to scream more than ever being at home everyday for 6 months. I am grateful for the time. I cannot remember a time when the washer was empty or the last time I took a warm shower was. Sometimes I find my toothbrush had been used, my shoes has been chewed up, or I come home and find someone sleeping in my bed. It has been a lesson learned on both ends for sure! It has taught me a lot more patience and understanding. I have for sure learned a little more about each of my family members. I will obviously miss them very much. It will be hard at first to be away from home. I will miss my little sisters sweet 16, family dinners and BYU sports with my dad. I will only gain more respect and love for them while I am away.
Finally to my life saver! Danielle Lolita Berry! While I have not been the easiest person in the last few months. She has done nothing but love me unconditionally. She has given me opportunities and more laughs than one can count. We have now officially done our second play together this year. No Dogs Allowed... it brought great joy to my life. At first I took the offer to occupy my time. In the mean time I gained lifetime friends and good tuba memories! We have also become quite the movie watchers. In the last few months I am going to say we have watched a good 45 movies! We have a new love for Vin and Paul! While we live in a dream world we have gone down the list of "their" films and watched almost all of them. We can say we may get a little obsessed with things at times! Our first great adventures started with basketball. When we became madly in love with the game, Jimmer and Jackson. :) We went to every game, gathered every newspaper clipping and have covered our room in cougar attire. We were officially complete when Danielle purchased us Jimmer and Jackson Jersey's. When BYU lost in the sweet 16 round... I refused to take mine off. I may have stayed in it for a whole 48 hours! I still have a hard time letting go of this season. My room is still covered and I still love to wear my jersey! I cannot count the many joys you Danielle have brought to my life this last year. You have been true to me no questions asked. While I may bawl my eyes out having to leave my best friend. I will remember all the great times we have had together. You have a place in my heart and you have had one for the last 9 years. I look forward to having many more with you by my side! Hopefully old ladies sitting on the side lines of the games and yelling at the refs! I will see you soon in my new city and will return soon enough to watch more movies and whoever else we move on to. I do have a song for you... but that has to wait. So I found a quote and I hope you will always hold it dear.
"If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together there is something you must always remember: you are braver than believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But most important of all, even if we are apart, I'll always be with you" - A.A. Milne
It may sound like I am dying! Ha, while I am not dying I am just getting ready to start a new chapter in my life. I am looking to gain a sense of who I am, and what I would like to do in my future. I am sure to most it will seem like I was gone for a few days! I shall be back before you know it! I am leaving to travel while working and who would not like to combine the two?! I look forward to all the adventures I am going to have. I depart from SLC to JFK on June 3rd. Hopefully I will have some kind of get together where myself, friends and family can gather one time more and take some fun pictures that I can take with me! I am so very excited to begin my new adventure. I hope I did not bore everyone to death with my old lady story! haha, I hope to see all again before I leave, I hope that while I am out having an adventure everyone has one of their own! Also pieces of advice are welcome for a first timer living the nest! Ahhh. I leave with a heavy heart, some anxiety, and much excitement!
In December the company I was working for announced that they would be closing down. While this job provided a grand income... I was relieved. I had some of the best times there, and for each good moment it was multiplied by 4 bad moments. So when the announcement came forward, I breathed a sigh of relief. Of relief that I could finally sleep and that the fates of 276 families would no longer be in my hands.
On the day of our release from work, I came home with two black garbage back full of junk from my "cube." I just sat. I stared at my bedroom wall for hours. Hours that I could say were filled with mostly tears. Tears of gratitude, hate, happiness, and sorrow. I had no thought really, a wall had just come tumbling down.
The next I decided I would wipe my life clean and so I painted. I went to the paint store and gathered primer and grey paint. In all it would take me three days. I called my best friend Danielle and told her to bring her Christmas spirit and come paint. I can remember now listening to Mark Masri, and Josh Groban Christmas music. We had a lot of laughs and I was glad to have my friend near at that moment. Little did I know I would never be so glad to have her in my life in the coming months.
So now I have a grey room with some cute throw pillow that I had made. It made me feel very happy. I felt clean and it gave me a sense of relief. It made it feel as if it were a new fresh start. As I was moving my room back to its normal state a paper fell out of my drawer. It was an old schedule from work at Lane Bryant. In which it said I worked Tuesday with Beth. Ahh Beth, she was a great friend whom I was very saddened to see move to New York to become a Nanny. A few days went by and I was bored as a door nail. I always thought while working that it would be great to have no job and do what you wanted. Ha, joke is on me. It is absolutely boring! So I thought, and thought some more. What could I do to earn an income. Why are you 21 years old and have no schooling? Well duh, go to school! I decided I should follow in my mothers path and become a hair stylist. I applied at a school and had my whole next year planned out. I had never been so excited about school before. I would be at a great school and right down the street from Danielle's work! It would be like High School, we could eat lunch again every day together! As I was making final touches I learned that funding for school would be nearly impossible for me. I looked at all the options and they easily were all flushed down the toilet!
So I prayed. I prayed for a good 30 minutes. I had never cried so hard in my entire life! I made a plea to my Heavenly Father to show me the way or to give me a sign. That night I decided I would give my friend Beth a call. No not decided, I was prompted to give Bethy Beth a call. As I called I was impressed to ask her how to go about being a nanny. I got a web site from her and she gave me great information. It was not but 10 minutes later I was online making a profile to solicit myself to be a nanny. Had I ever wanted to be a nanny? NO! Had I felt right about going to do it? NO WAY! The concept was so foreign and scary to me. But, I proceeded anyways. Within a few days I received a message from a family in Connecticut. They had an 11 year old boy, wanted a "friend"/ nanny for him. They had quite the set up and seemed picture perfect. I answered back to them and set up a time for some phone calls. I spoke to them and felt the impression that they were great. Bad news is they did not need a nanny until June! How could I possibly be around for 6 months waiting to leave? So I spoke to other families and followed the same process. As the days passed I came to love the idea of being a nanny more and more.
As the process of prayer became a more pattern activity in my life I began to feel things becoming clear to me. On one of the days in February I decided I could not take one more day of being fat! I have always been fat and thought I always would be. It was something that had come to be part of my personality, and I was okay with being the "fat funny" girl. Until one day I was overwhelmed with the power to finally lose weight. The best I can explain it to someone is like an addiction. Some obese is someone that is addicted to food. If I could be so bold I would compare it to a cigarette addiction. I had always had good intentions to lost weight but this time I had no intentions. I was going to solely dedicate my life to having a whole mind and finding peace with my body.
At this point I had purchased a few books. Miracle of Forgiveness, Biggest Loser 6 weeks to a healthier you and Eat, Pray, Love. I knew I needed to make peace with my Heavenly Father, I needed to lose weight, and I needed to learn how to find new meaning to life and let go. During this time I decided I did not fit with any other families. All my thoughts went back to this first family in Connecticut. At this point I was okay with waiting until June. I had a lot of personal things to work out to be in the right mind set to leave. It just so happens that June ended up falling in a perfect time frame. So I told them I would love to join their family and they gave an invitation! I was so excited. You did not have to twist my arm for this job! It is a perfect set up with everything you could and would ever need.
I finally felt at peace with my decision. I was learning how to abandon my addictions, clear my mind and draw nearer to my faith! But I have taken these last 6 months off for granted! I have had time to spend with my dear grandparents. Even thought it is watching my crazy grandpa go down every aisle at the grocery because he can't remember what they need. The time with my grandmother has been very rough. I came home one day after dropping my parents off at the airport and find my grandma screaming for help. She had fallen down and broken her arm in 3 different places. She has been through too much to have kept her patience in the last 4 months. Hell I don't blame her. They are people that are so firm in the gospel you can't help but have the most respect and love for them.
While I have not wanted to scream more than ever being at home everyday for 6 months. I am grateful for the time. I cannot remember a time when the washer was empty or the last time I took a warm shower was. Sometimes I find my toothbrush had been used, my shoes has been chewed up, or I come home and find someone sleeping in my bed. It has been a lesson learned on both ends for sure! It has taught me a lot more patience and understanding. I have for sure learned a little more about each of my family members. I will obviously miss them very much. It will be hard at first to be away from home. I will miss my little sisters sweet 16, family dinners and BYU sports with my dad. I will only gain more respect and love for them while I am away.
Finally to my life saver! Danielle Lolita Berry! While I have not been the easiest person in the last few months. She has done nothing but love me unconditionally. She has given me opportunities and more laughs than one can count. We have now officially done our second play together this year. No Dogs Allowed... it brought great joy to my life. At first I took the offer to occupy my time. In the mean time I gained lifetime friends and good tuba memories! We have also become quite the movie watchers. In the last few months I am going to say we have watched a good 45 movies! We have a new love for Vin and Paul! While we live in a dream world we have gone down the list of "their" films and watched almost all of them. We can say we may get a little obsessed with things at times! Our first great adventures started with basketball. When we became madly in love with the game, Jimmer and Jackson. :) We went to every game, gathered every newspaper clipping and have covered our room in cougar attire. We were officially complete when Danielle purchased us Jimmer and Jackson Jersey's. When BYU lost in the sweet 16 round... I refused to take mine off. I may have stayed in it for a whole 48 hours! I still have a hard time letting go of this season. My room is still covered and I still love to wear my jersey! I cannot count the many joys you Danielle have brought to my life this last year. You have been true to me no questions asked. While I may bawl my eyes out having to leave my best friend. I will remember all the great times we have had together. You have a place in my heart and you have had one for the last 9 years. I look forward to having many more with you by my side! Hopefully old ladies sitting on the side lines of the games and yelling at the refs! I will see you soon in my new city and will return soon enough to watch more movies and whoever else we move on to. I do have a song for you... but that has to wait. So I found a quote and I hope you will always hold it dear.
"If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together there is something you must always remember: you are braver than believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But most important of all, even if we are apart, I'll always be with you" - A.A. Milne
It may sound like I am dying! Ha, while I am not dying I am just getting ready to start a new chapter in my life. I am looking to gain a sense of who I am, and what I would like to do in my future. I am sure to most it will seem like I was gone for a few days! I shall be back before you know it! I am leaving to travel while working and who would not like to combine the two?! I look forward to all the adventures I am going to have. I depart from SLC to JFK on June 3rd. Hopefully I will have some kind of get together where myself, friends and family can gather one time more and take some fun pictures that I can take with me! I am so very excited to begin my new adventure. I hope I did not bore everyone to death with my old lady story! haha, I hope to see all again before I leave, I hope that while I am out having an adventure everyone has one of their own! Also pieces of advice are welcome for a first timer living the nest! Ahhh. I leave with a heavy heart, some anxiety, and much excitement!
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